Well, I am glad you have help. But I personally don't think drugs and psychologists are the solution, as they tend to cover up the problem rather than fix it. The root problem is that we are not meant to live in concrete houses lit by florescent light, and we are not meant to work eight hours a day at mindless jobs. It is no wonder that we need vast amounts of medication and counseling just to survive, pills are something akin to a temporary chemical lobotomy.
Counselors and "suicide prevention" call centers only care about suppressing your emotions with pills or words, and then returning you back to society as a mindless robot. You can do that if you wish to, but there are better ways.
I wish I had a magic pill to make civilization more tolerable, but I don't. I refuse to take medication, and I have gone on my little "escape to the wilderness" retreats 14 times, I usually come back a week or two later with no job (they fired me in the meantime) and a family welcoming me back to restart my life. But I always realized that the job was not really that important, and my life was worth so much more. I should have died on at least three of those "wilderness retreats" simply because I placed myself in a very real and dangerous survival situation, but those situations made me reach within myself to find a solution and to fight for my life. It made me realize how much life is actually worth.
If you go on one of these outings, you will either die, or you will become a stronger individual. If you did not have any chance of death, then you did not go far enough. Only the fear of death will cause you to grow and evolve.
Part 2: Life at work
I have since given in to a job that I have had for two years now, it pays really well, and even though I dislike working on a fundamental level, I found not working to be less fun and more painful.
The strange story about my current job:
I was jobless and I stopped cutting my hair (Never to be cut, ever again!) and let it grow out (I am a dude), and I told myself that I would not work for ANYONE who told me to cut my hair. And I will stand by that until the day I die. It is who I am, and I will not give it up for anyone, or anything. It got me a better paying job, and some instant respect for being strong and independent. It is down to my shoulders, and it does not seem to be getting any longer. You might need to find something about yourself that you are unwilling to give up for something as simple as a "job", and if you find that you need to stand by it, FOREVER. You don't have to be perfect, you just need to be you!
I have the hidden hope that someday I will be fired, and I will be free to flee to the wilderness again, but I do such a good job that I don't think that I will ever be fired. It actually makes me a better employee to not worry about being fired, simply because the stress that is caused by worry relating to the loss of the job is one of the worst things about having a job.
I am confident that if I lose my job I can either find another one, or I can be free in the wilderness. Either option removes all of the stress relating to my current job.
You are so definitely not alone, and I understand what you go through. (Although I have never taken meds, alcohol, coffee (only twice) or any other mind altering substance)
Good luck out there. And remember that the wild always welcomes new recruits.