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Author Topic: lmfao  (Read 6311 times)

Tamako_Yamasuki

lmfao
« on: Mar 30 2008, 06:28 PM »
Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord.



Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence.

Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan’s temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

 x-Frequently wears black clothing.



x-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.



-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.



x-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols.

Some of these
include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.



x-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.



xxxx XD-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.

)

x-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.



x-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.



x-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.



-Takes drugs.



-Drinks alcohol.



x-Is suicidal and/or depressed.



-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God andHis love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.

)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.



x-Spends large amounts of time alone.



-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.

)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.



(LMAO THEY DID IT TWICE!) -Spends large amounts of time alone.



XD yup! -Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.

)

Oh please x-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.



x-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.



-Misbehaves at school.



-Misbehaves at home.



x (I'M A FRIGGING TEEN! XD)-Eats excessively or too little.



-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula (WTF??!!??) cereal is an example of this.



-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.

)

OMG LMAO! -Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.

)

x-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.



x-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.



x-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.



x-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.



x (uhm... teen)-Expresses an interest in sex.



-Masturbates lmfao (should that be x'd??)

x-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.



x-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.



x-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I’m so gothic, I’m dead", "woe is me", "I’m a goth".



x-Claims to be a goth.



If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it.

If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local
mental health center.



~St.

Mary’s Catholic Church
~~~~~~~
Apparently since I pretty much do all those things! I AM ROYALLY FUCKED!!!!
XD 99.9% of the pop is royally fucked! Kinda shows the hypocracy in our society... v.v;
I couldn't not repost this somewhere! XD Not trying to stir up alot of stuff or bash Catholics... But this is just too HILARIOUS!

Offline M.C.

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lmfao
« Reply #1 on: Mar 30 2008, 08:34 PM »
I miss the days when the Roman Catholic Church was called the Roman Empire.

p.s. goth sucks anyway

Offline Samui

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lmfao
« Reply #2 on: Mar 30 2008, 09:20 PM »
Hahahaha.


« glacia.moe ¤ .para//Bound ¤ TwitchTV ¤ speedrun.com »

Buy me a coffee!

dreams are as portals, flat visions of misty places, fragments bound below my surface.
but i can write dreams, they flow from me, inscribed yet now unbound. i touch them, and they are real....and they are real.

- Catherine: realMYST Trailer -

Offline Yerix

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lmfao
« Reply #3 on: Mar 30 2008, 10:28 PM »
"Count Dracula (WTF??!!??) cereal is an example of this."

never heard of count dracula cereal, but count chocula is close enough

http://www.mentalfloss.com/wp-content/uplo...ountchocula.jpg
URANAIDETYU


Spoiler: show
I hate more than just your guts, faggot. I hate your mind,
your body, and your soul. Your existance on this shithole of
a planet is meaningless. So it's best for you to commit suicide
right now, the sooner, the faster you can get out of this
gigantic shithole.





Offline Kiriko

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lmfao
« Reply #4 on: Apr 03 2008, 03:24 PM »
lolz!

Offline Roland Voidheart

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lmfao
« Reply #5 on: Apr 06 2008, 01:15 PM »
Would Nine Inch Nails count as 'anti-social' ?
Home
Returning from somewhere, to someplace safe
And for once as you watch the color of the sunset as it paints the walls
And you are not living in a memory; you are vital and alive, you are at peace; you are godlike
And you are safe, and that moment will last in a place in your mind
And there is no pain, and you forget what it feels like
And you can see, how it could be
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
╔═╦╗╔╦╦╦╦╦╦═╦═╗
║═╣║║║╔╣╔╣║═╣╚╣
║╔╣╚╝║║║║║║═╬╗║
╚╝╚══╩╝╚╝╚╩═╩═╝

Tamako_Yamasuki

lmfao
« Reply #6 on: Apr 06 2008, 04:11 PM »
I think so... lol and MSI X3 w00t! *headbangs \m/*

Offline Roland Voidheart

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lmfao
« Reply #7 on: Apr 08 2008, 09:18 AM »
What about if someone claims to have no heart (literally)? Is that goth?
Home
Returning from somewhere, to someplace safe
And for once as you watch the color of the sunset as it paints the walls
And you are not living in a memory; you are vital and alive, you are at peace; you are godlike
And you are safe, and that moment will last in a place in your mind
And there is no pain, and you forget what it feels like
And you can see, how it could be
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
╔═╦╗╔╦╦╦╦╦╦═╦═╗
║═╣║║║╔╣╔╣║═╣╚╣
║╔╣╚╝║║║║║║═╬╗║
╚╝╚══╩╝╚╝╚╩═╩═╝

Tamako_Yamasuki

lmfao
« Reply #8 on: Apr 08 2008, 09:30 AM »
iono That church would probably think so! *goes back to being damned* YAY!!! I found another site that had alot of hatred towards Vampires and people in general. =/ www.godhategoths.com Sucks ass on how hateful people are.... v.v;

The Light

lmfao
« Reply #9 on: Apr 08 2008, 07:59 PM »
Hey bud, did you even read any of it?  It's all one giant satire on people that actually do that sort of bashing.  At first glance it looks like a bunch of religious nutjobs but if you click on the disclaimer at the very bottom they tell you straight up it's meant to be dark humor.  http://www.godhatesgoths.com/disclaimer.html